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    The Emotionally Charged

    They've got big feelings and they're not going to apologize for them. Nor should they.

    Emotionally Charged wants to take these conversations at their own pace. After all, it's not irrational to be afraid of illness and death!

    However. Their emotions can derail important conversations that need to happen. 

    Easily Overwhelmed
    Core motivation

    Want to help but get hijacked by their own anxiety and fear.

    Intentions are good.

    How The Emotionally Charged shows up

    Does this sound like you?

    This is all a lot, but they know it's important. They do everything they can to fortify themselves for the conversation ahead, start with good hopes and intentions, then get walloped by a trigger out of nowhere. 

    Remember:

    • Fit your own oxygen mask before helping others, metaphorically speaking
    • "What if" scenarios are just that - possibilities, not promises
    • Avoidance won't help

    "I know we need to do something, but it's just impossible to think about right now."

    "Can't someone else handle this? It's too much."

    "I'm really sorry, I'm trying."

    "Does this not bother you?"

    • Family members who don't respect their anxiety or give them time to recover when flooded.
    • Their own inability to follow through despite really, really trying. 
    • Pressure to have conversations at what feels like break-neck speed. 

     

    The Emotionally Charged remind us how important these conversations and topics really are. Their reactions signal the value of connections and relationships. 

    These are big topics and that can get lost in all the details and practicalities. This type will never lose sight of what's at stake.

    Feeling is good, but feeling too much can get in the way of growth. They may get stuck in a loop of trying, flooding, and guilt. 

    Or they may harshly judge those they feel "don't care."

    How The Emotionally Charged works with Aging Adult types

    Understanding yourself in relation to the aging adults in your life can give you the best starting point for meaningful conversations.

    Parent/child not equal

    The Death Positive

    Death Positive-1

    The Emotionally Charged overwhelm meets their practical readiness, creating a dynamic where they may need to take the lead while supporting emotional regulation. Parent feels needed and helpful.

    Mutual enabling

    The Procrastinator

    Procrastinator-1

    Two avoidance patterns that reinforce each other - Emotionally Charge validates their procrastination, and their delays reduce anxiety about having to face difficult topics. Problems compound while both wait for "better" conditions.

    It depends

    Anxious Flip-flopper

    Anxious Flipflopper-1

    Two anxious people can either escalate each other's anxiety or find mutual understanding. Very dependent on timing and emotional regulation. At best, deep mutual understanding can be found and parent doesn't judge emotional responses. 

    Could be magic

    The Defensive Denial

    Defensive Denier-1

    Emotionally Charged's emotions may actually feel less threatening to their defenses than direct approaches, but anxiety might also trigger their personal protective responses. Parent may take helpful leadership role, and feels needed rather than threatened.

    More info needed

    It's Complicated

    Complicated-1

    Emotionally Charged's emotional overwhelm can either trigger their protective instincts or get weaponized in family dynamics, depending on relationship status with this parent. Outbursts may be used as excuses to avoid planning, and more practical family members may splinter away.

    Explore, learn, and expand your mind

    It's not psychedelics, just great media

    Contemplating the meaning of life, death, and the human experience has been around as long as humans have. These resources have been specifically chosen to access The Emotionally Charged's blindspots.

    "When the Body Says No" by Gabor Maté 

    "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown 

    "Rising Strong" by Brené Brown 

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "My Girl" (childhood processing of death)

    "A Monster Calls" (big emotions around dying)

    "Inside Out" (emotions as helpful information)

    "Everything Everywhere All at Once" (managing overwhelming complexity)

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "A Buddhist approach to death, dying and funerals" - Poppy's Funerals

    "How to overcome social anxiety fast: 8 practical tips to help you be more confident" - Calm

    "Mindfulness and Self-Compassion" - Kristin Neff 

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Metta Hour" with Sharon Salzberg (loving-kindness for anxiety)

    "The Hilarious World of Depression" episodes on death anxiety

    "The Anxiety Coaches Podcast" (practical anxiety management)

    (all hyperlinks above)

    Good to know, what are the next steps?

    Well, that's pretty much up to you! If you're in a situation right now where the aging people in your life might soon need your help - or you're already there - you can dive right into the resources we keep on Patreon. 

    Or you could explore the other communication types, including a more in-depth look at the 5 Aging Adult types.

    Maybe you're ready to put it all to practice and dive into the conversation card decks.

    Explore other communication types

    Does The Emotionally Charged not feel quite right? Want to understand the other people in your life? Explore the other styles here.

    learn more

    Learn about the Memento conversation cards

    Put your hard-earned knowledge to work with the Memento conversation starter decks. Explore the different types here.

    convo cards

    Explore more resources on Patreon

    Ready to join The Good Mourning Society? Then visit us on Patreon and join for free. Resources, polls, chats, and more are constantly updated. Welcome!!

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