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    The Peacekeeper

    They're often translating between the more practical and emotional people in life. All the while, they're caught in the middle, seeing every side to an argument and trying to strike balance.

    However. Their focus on maintaining harmony doesn't allow for discomfort - and life can get uncomfortable. 

    Peacekeeper-1
    Core motivation

    Preventing any upset or emotional disruption.

    Don't rock the boat.

    How The Peacekeeper shows up

    Does this sound like you?

    The Peacekeeper loves a still, undisturbed pond and will do just about anything to maintain that calm. They believe that there's a solution that will make everyone happy, as long as everyone involved is patient and considerate.

    Remember:

    • Life has moments of dark and light
    • Dropping hints can be easily missed by others 

    "We can absolutely talk about this later."

    "There's no rush. Only when you're ready."

    "If you'd just listen to what they're saying..."

    "No, what I think she meant was..."

    • Pressure from family members who try to get everyone to pick a side.
    • Feeling caught between parent's wishes, siblings concerns, and own opinions.
    • Feeling like their compassion and empathy are seen as weakness.

    The Peacekeeper is a master at preserving relationships and maintaining trust. They are able to see multiple perspectives at once, and understand that several things can be true at the same time. 

    Avoiding conflict isn't always possible, and this type may suppress a great deal of their own emotions and opinions, especially if there are a lot of loud voices at the table. 

    Critical conversations may never happen if others find them too upsetting.

    How The Peacekeeper works with Aging Adult types

    Understanding yourself in relation to the aging adults in your life can give you the best starting point for meaningful conversations.

    Start and stop

    The Death Positive

    Death Positive-1

    Peacekeeper's conflict-avoidance meets their practical readiness, creating a gentle but potentially stalled dynamic. They're ready to discuss difficult topics, but Peacekeeper keep backing away from anything that might create tension.

    A perfect storm

    The Procrastinator

    Procrastinator-1

    Welcome to the land of mutual avoidance. Neither wants to push difficult conversations, leading to comfortable albeit unproductive interactions. Peacekeeper may get frustrated but not understand why.

    Could work well

    Anxious Flip-flopper

    Anxious Flipflopper-1

    Peacekeeper's conflict avoidance can either provide calming stability for their anxiety or enable their avoidance when they're in shutdown mode. They provide emotional stability and safety; parent doesn't feel judged for their anxiety.

    Tread softly

    The Defensive Denial

    Defensive Denier-1

    Peacekeeper's approach plays directly into their defense mechanisms. Both collude in avoiding the very topics that need discussion, so while the relationship bonds remain strong, nothing is ever resolved.

    Danger ahead

    It's Complicated

    Complicated-1

    Peacekeepers may be able to help navigate family landmines, but may also prevent addressing relationship issues that block practical planning. They may become the family enabler and depending on dynamics at play, can easily become manipulated.

    Explore, learn, and expand your mind

    It's not psychedelics, just great media

    Contemplating the meaning of life, death, and the human experience has been around as long as humans have. These resources have been specifically chosen to access The Peacekeeper's blindspots.

    "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson 

    "Advice for Future Corpses" by Sallie Tisdale 

    "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner 

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Little Women" (Jo learning to speak difficult truths)

    "About Time" (gentle approach to mortality and family)

    "Ikiru" (finding meaning while dying)

    "The Descendants" (making hard family decisions despite resistance)

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Talking about death" - The Art of Dying Well

    "4 Things to Do Before a Tough Conversation" - Harvard Business Review

    "Sitting with uncomfortable things" - Scott Stonington

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Grief Out Loud" (gentle grief conversations)

    "Against the Stream" Buddhist talks on death

    "Boundaries" - The Life Coach School Podcast"

    (all hyperlinks above)

    Good to know, what are the next steps?

    Well, that's pretty much up to you! If you're in a situation right now where the aging people in your life might soon need your help - or you're already there - you can dive right into the resources we keep on Patreon. 

    Or you could explore the other communication types, including a more in-depth look at the 5 Aging Adult types.

    Maybe you're ready to put it all to practice and dive into the conversation card decks.

    Explore other communication types

    Does The Peacemaker not feel quite right? Want to understand the other people in your life? Explore the other styles here.

    Learn more

    Learn about the Memento conversation cards

    Put your hard-earned knowledge to work with the Memento conversation starter decks. Explore the different types here.

    convo cards

    Explore more resources on Patreon

    Ready to join The Good Mourning Society? Then visit us on Patreon and join for free. Resources, polls, chats, and more are constantly updated. Welcome!!

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