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    Straight to the Point

    Reality isn't up for debate. 

    There's a time and place for heart-to-hearts, and now ain't it. The faster all this is figured out, the more time everyone will have to process. They are master compartmentalizers.

    However. They may not give others the time and space they need to cooperate best. 

    Straight to the Point
    Core motivation

    Getting through unpleasantness as quickly as possible.

    Why dwell?

    How Straight to the Point shows up

    Does this sound like you?

    The fastest way to get somewhere is with a straight line. So why, when things are painful and/or uncomfortable, would anyone want to spend more time on the journey? 

    They're the type of person who appreciates that emotions can run high, but sees that as a roadblock to progress.

    Remember:

    • Just because it's obvious to them, it doesn't mean everyone else is on the same page
    • They have limits and capacity like everyone else 
    • Their intentions are good

    "I know this isn't fun for anyone, which is exactly why we need to figure it out ASAP."

    "Can you please stop being so dramatic? We need to actually finish here."

    "Not talking about this doesn't mean it isn't going to happen. It just means it'll be harder when it does."

    • Conversations that go around in circles.
    • People going back on decisions that have already been made.
    • Family members who dance around topics instead of being direct.
    • Being accused of being "cold" or "uncaring" when they're trying to be helpful.

    They cut through avoidance and emotion to get to what really matters. They are masters at making tough decisions under pressure, being the stoic, stable rock others can lean on. 

    They can miss the importance emotions play in connection, cooperation, and partnership during difficult times.

    Taken to the extreme, this type of person won't allow themselves to feel or process the weight of what's happening even in private.

    How they work with Aging Adult types

    Understanding yourself in relation to the aging adults in your life can give you the best starting point for meaningful conversations.

    Pure efficiency

    The Death Positive

    Death Positive-1

    Maximum efficiency with minimal drama, however Might miss important emotional nuances; could make irreversible decisions too quickly. Conversations are businesslike and productive.

    Potential for greatness

    The Procrastinator

    Procrastinator-1

    Straight to the Point's directness meets their avoidance head-on. This can either cut through their procrastination or trigger stronger avoidance behaviors.

    Calming or chaotic

    Anxious Flip-flopper

    Anxious Flipflopper-1

    Straight to the Point's directness can either provide calming structure or completely overwhelm their already fragile emotional state. High emotional intelligence levels needed.

    Oil and vinegar

    The Defensive Denial

    Defensive Denier-1

    This is often a collision course. Directness about death-related topics hits their defenses like a hammer, typically strengthening their resistance.

    Maybe, maybe not

    It's Complicated

    Complicated-1

    Straight to the Point's directness can either efficiently cut through family drama efficiently or escalate conflicts by being too blunt without sensitivity to existing dynamics.

    Best case scenario, they are the best suited for practical planning because they won't get sucked into emotional manipulation. 

    Explore, learn, and expand your mind

    It's not psychedelics, just great media

    Contemplating the meaning of life, death, and the human experience has been around as long as humans have. These resources have been specifically chosen to access Straight to the Point's blindspots.

    "Dying Well" by Ira Byock 

    "Thanks for the Feedback" by Douglas Stone 

    "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson 

    "No Mud, No Lotus" by Thich Nhat Hanh 

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Million Dollar Baby" (direct end-of-life decisions)

    "The Bucket List" (practical approach to mortality)

    "A Monster Calls" (processing big emotions around death)

    "Manchester by the Sea" (grief that can't be rushed or fixed)

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "A Better Way to Die" - The Atlantic

    "How to Discover the Life-Affirming Comforts of 'Death Cleaning'" - NYT

    (all hyperlinks above)

    "Dharma Ocean" episodes on death meditation

    "Hidden Brain" (emotional undercurrents in decisions)

    "Unlocking Us" with Brené Brown 

    (all hyperlinks above)

    Good to know, what are the next steps?

    Well, that's pretty much up to you! If you're in a situation right now where the aging people in your life might soon need your help - or you're already there - you can dive right into the resources we keep on Patreon. 

    Or you could explore the other communication types, including a more in-depth look at the 5 Aging Adult types.

    Maybe you're ready to put it all to practice and dive into the conversation card decks. 

    Explore other communication types

    Does Straight to the Point not feel quite right? Want to understand the other people in your life? Explore the other styles here.

    learn more

    Learn about the Memento conversation cards

    Put your hard-earned knowledge to work with the Memento conversation starter decks. Explore the different types here.

    Convo cards

    Explore more resources on Patreon

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